235 | Kimberly Flear: Redefining Hospitality Mental Health

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Adam M Lamb: Welcome back to the Show Chef.

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What if the bravest thing that you could do was to ask for help?

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In an industry where long hours high heat and silent suffering are worn like

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badges of honor, it's easy to forget that we're humans first, chef's second.

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That's why I sat down with Kimberly Flear founder of Last Call Coaching.

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A leader in mental health wellness for hospitality professionals for real.

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Talk on what it takes to shift the culture from burnout to support

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Kimberly's not talking from theory.

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She's lived it, and in this episode she breaks down why breath work

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and body movement aren't soft.

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They're strategic.

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How to spot the signs of emotional strain before it turns into a crisis

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and what it really means to create a recovery friendly workplace.

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We talk about the pressure to perform.

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Stories we don't tell and how often conversations can be the

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first step towards a kitchen that actually feels safe.

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If you've ever felt like you had to leave parts of yourself outside

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the walk-in just to get through the day, this one's for you.

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We'll get into all that and much more right after this message.

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This is Chef Life Radio and I'm your host Chef Adam Lamb.

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I'm a culinary career coach dedicated to assisting hospitality professionals

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just like you who enjoy their careers without having to sacrifice their lives.

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I coach chefs on leadership, communication, culture.

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And relationship mastery.

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If you've lost your passion, purpose, or drive, you either want to move

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up or out, then let's connect.

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Go to chef life coaching.com/discovery, and now let's get to the good stuff.

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We're thrilled to have Kimberly flir here with us on the show.

Kimberly Flear: 00:01:49

Thanks, Adam.

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Adam M Lamb: And first off, gotta ask, how you feeling?

Kimberly Flear: 00:01:53

Yeah, I'm feeling really good.

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It's Friday.

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I live in a beautiful place.

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I feel good in my body.

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Gratitude is the superpower of the day.

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Adam M Lamb: You know, here on the show, longtime listeners know that, uh, we

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pound the drum pretty religiously around.

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Um, the stigma of, of mental health, uh, hospitality industry and the fact

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that we haven't been very good stewards over human capital for a long time.

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And these things went unnoticed and unrecognized and was chalked up to,

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yeah, that's the way it's gonna be.

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So, you know, either you can hang with it or not.

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What we've come to understand, especially through the pandemic, is we can do

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a lot better as the founder and lead facilitator of Last Call Coaching.

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Over the last several months, I've noticed that you've become a very focused voice

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on places like LinkedIn, talking about the stigma of mental health issues in the

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hospitality industry, and you're just not gonna put up with that bullshit anymore.

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I'm not gonna put up with it.

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No.

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You know, it's really, I think about being a voice for those who don't have one.

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We're silenced by stigma and we're living in a culture that represents

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that it's always been this way and that there is no other way.

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And I'm here to kind of challenge those industry norms and be a little

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bit disruptive in the process.

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And I think that's quite a nature of someone who comes

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from the hospitality industry.

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We are known to be a little disruptive.

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You know, we kind of don't conform to society's rules.

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We kind of take on that misfit kind of personality.

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And so after my own journey of struggling pretty intensely with some

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self-destructive behaviors, habits, patterns, all which were fueled

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by the industry, not necessarily starting in the industry, but what

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happened is the industry attracted me.

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So I could escape.

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So I could numb out.

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And I think that's a missing component in a lot of the conversations and a lot of

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the awareness that's being brought forward is that we're dealing with a group of

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individuals who someone are looking for that escape or looking for that kind of

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just outside the nine to five, something that allows them to constantly be like

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the dopamine rush of a busy service.

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The adrenaline, the instant gratification, all of those are

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not necessarily recognized as being something that can hinder mental

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health, if not addressed properly.

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Adam M Lamb: Yeah.

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Kind of underlying culture of instant gratification and how in my career

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that really served me, you know, I got into the industry ultimately

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because I was a, I didn't know it in the moment, but once I got into it, I

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was kinda like looking for a community and a place to be, you know, fully me.

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Anthony Bourdain is on record as saying, you know, the kitchen's one of the last

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great merit autocracies, and it's true if you can kick ass on your station.

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Nobody really gives a shit.

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You know, they don't care where you come from, what color you are,

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what your background is, and very often they don't give a shit about

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what you're doing in your off time.

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So speak to me about how your career has influenced what you're doing now.

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Yeah, it, it's so embedded with every corner of what I do.

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You know, I have a plaque on my wall of lived experience spending 25 plus years

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in the industry and not necessarily really recognizing the problem.

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When I was in it in my twenties, it was fun, and I got to travel and I

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was really good at my job, but things started to deteriorate pretty quickly.

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There was no help there.

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You know, I kept losing jobs for drinking on shift.

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I kind of say sometimes the industry ate me up and spit me out without a

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resource in hand, and so that's really what sparked something inside of me.

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Once I cleared my own head, I had to take a step away from the industry.

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I had to take a step away, so I took a couple of years off, and in that time

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just really reflected on my own journey.

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And then got hit with a tragedy of losing a friend who was also an industry

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veteran who walked a similar path.

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You know, he couldn't keep a job.

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By the end, he was getting let go and bouncing around

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from restaurant to restaurant.

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And again, just as you said, nobody questions what we're bringing with us.

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As long as you can do your job well, no matter the state of mind that you're in,

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you know, there were days where we were surfing tables and with no sleep, right?

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Some of us are still high on whatever it was that we took that morning.

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And I've worked in some really high reputation places and nobody questions it

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because as long as you get the job done.

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And so in 2021, that's really when it sparked this desire and this pull

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towards wanting to help the industry.

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I give credit to the industry for everything that I was, everything

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I am and everything I will be.

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I hit the road at.

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15 years old, I found community.

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I found people who gave me attention and the care and the

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love I didn't receive as a child.

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And so

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that's where it kicked off.

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And I love everything about this industry, but I love it so much that

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it can't continue the way that it is.

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Yeah.

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Or it's not going to survive.

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The new generation is not gonna take it.

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More establishments are gonna recognize this.

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More organizations are gonna realize their doors are gonna have to, you

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know, it's not gonna look good for them if we don't start taking action

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and taking care of our people, just like we take care of our guests.

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Without the guests, we have no business, without the staff, we have no business.

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Adam M Lamb: That really lands with me because I'm also thinking about.

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Our responsibility to take accountability, right?

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For the things that happen to us, the situations that we put ourselves in.

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You know, here on the show, we like to say we are the industry because

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looking over there to say it was their problem, or the industry did

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it to me or nobody gave a shit about that may in all be true, but that.

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Comes from point of having no power to change anything.

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So to actually acknowledge, nope, nobody forced me to put that thing up my nose.

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Nobody forced me to go to the, you know, and just having that really shitty

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feeling about, oh fuck, I did it again.

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So, yeah, we need to take accountability for it.

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We need to acknowledge, you know, our part in not only, you know, taking

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part in it, but also facilitating an environment where that stuff could happen.

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I remember very clearly.

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Watching a line cook on lunch.

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You know, just sweat and bullets, because I know he'd been out all night because

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I had been there with him, and I'm like, I'm not gonna bail you out, dude.

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You're out there playing.

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Then this is the price that you're gonna pay.

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But I think I mentioned our last conversation together.

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I wrote a blog post where the main premise of it was, chef,

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I'm feeling a little itchy.

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I need to get to a meeting today.

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Said, no line cook ever.

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Right.

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Because even then it's shame.

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Absolutely.

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Adam M Lamb: Like we created an environment where people felt ashamed

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to need to take space for their own.

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Like not, that's not even recovery.

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That's, I just need to like change the vibe.

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You know, do a pattern interrupt.

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Because so much of my experience was like, and again, and I thought that

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was very courageous of you just saying, Nope, I gotta heal myself first.

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You went to a cabin in BC and you sat there with yourself and you were

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determined to heal that part of you.

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That was, you know, jonesing for recognition and acknowledgement and you

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know, I think the addiction starts a lot sooner than we find any substances because

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it's that addiction to Yeah, the dopamine.

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I don't think that's something that's talked about enough is

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that dopamine I, you know, I talk a lot about different initiatives that we can

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implement into organizations, and one of them that I think where we're missing

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a big piece of it is that post shift.

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Adam M Lamb: Yeah,

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pre-shift is great.

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Take the pulse on your team and find out what's happening.

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But post shift is where the energy, the adrenaline, the need to come down.

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Is quite often where we go and use or we go out, and I certainly don't wanna

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come across like I'm trying to take the fun or suck the vibe out of the industry

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because I wanna keep it as unique and fun and keep it for what it is.

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Yeah.

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But not at the expense of someone who can't keep their shit together.

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Or someone who's suffering in silence or needs to go to a meeting but can't ask

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because nobody else will support them.

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Right.

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So I think we just have a really great opportunity in front of us to start

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addressing these things consistently.

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Not a workshop around mental health and burnout prevention.

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And then walk away.

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Right?

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Adam M Lamb: Yeah.

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And that's big.

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That's to me, sometimes it feels like a larger than life

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project that I'm working on.

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I think there's also a misconception around the pathways to recovery, and this

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is also something that's really, you know, embedded into my work, is recognizing

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that there's multiple pathways.

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And I think the more that we continue to do this work around hospitality

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platforms and spaces will open up, that can cater specifically to the

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unique needs of our industry because it's a different beast, I believe.

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Mm-hmm.

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And I think that.

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As we continue to have more of these conversations and implement these

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strategies and systems, opportunities are gonna be available for people like-minded

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from the industry to come together.

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There's already people out there doing it, you know, Ben's friends and Chow has these

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meetings where we can come together and talk industry shit together, and that's

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really supportive and really needed.

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Adam M Lamb: Yeah, I love the Wednesday child meetings for men.

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Yeah,

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Adam M Lamb: I love it.

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I've done men's work for many years and to be able to show up makes a very

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clear distinction is like sobriety is not a prerequisite to attending.

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So if you're just getting off shift and you've had a couple beers, we welcome

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that because I've been in circles where, you know, if you are not stone cold

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sober, they don't want any part of you.

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And that's kind of a little bit of rigidity that I push back against as well.

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Ben's friends is a great organization.

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I saw a post the other day about an after shift mocktail thing where

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people are like learning how to make different alcohol free drinks, but

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as a way to get together that doesn't necessarily have alcohol attached to it.

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I have a friend in Philadelphia, chef Maria Campbell, who runs an

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organization where they regularly.

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Think up ways to get industry veterans or industry participants together

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that doesn't have alcohol involved?

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No, and it's okay if people have a couple, like my philosophy

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is I meet people where they're at.

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Adam M Lamb: Yep.

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It's not

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complete abstinence.

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It's not sucking the fun out.

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You don't have to come in the forest and zen out and you know you can

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still live a high quality, fun life.

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Adam M Lamb: Yeah.

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But eventually it will take its toll if anyone's listening and

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they find themselves who've been in the industry, you know, 15, 20 years, like

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myself, I woke up at the age of 38.

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The party was well over and it was still doing cocaine for breakfast.

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This is not sustainable, right?

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So it's really about meeting people where they're at, and those that do need

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help know that it's available to them.

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Adam M Lamb: And just a little science for everybody, you know, a lot of it has to

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do with flooding the brain with dopamine.

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And what happens is the brain can only take in so much dopamine.

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So what it does is it starts to thin out the receptors.

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And when people enter in recovery, or even just decide to do, oh, I'm

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gonna do dry January or whatever.

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Very often, those first week to 10 days is pretty morose because now all of a

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sudden there are fewer receptors for that dopamine, but there's a lot less dopamine.

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I need to understand that the brain self regulates beautifully and

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it in response to lower dopamine, it opens up more receptor sites.

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Yeah.

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So you gotta stick with it, man.

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Day at a time, moment at a time.

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And I know lots of people who

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in sobriety achieved a success that they never thought was possible

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just because they're clearer.

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That me Never thought possible.

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Adam M Lamb: Yeah.

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Never thought possible.

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And I think, you know, the, the dopamine rush, not even even alcohol and drugs

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aside, the dopamine rush that comes from a busy, high vibes surface.

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Mm-hmm.

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If we can address that after service in a healthy way.

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Right.

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Again, you're rewiring your brain and you're creating your neural pathways.

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So the come down after service doesn't have to be so intense.

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There's many tips and tricks that we can do after service.

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Adam M Lamb: So mention a couple that you know.

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Okay, so I don't, and I don't wanna try this because I'm

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listening to this podcast.

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I'm like, what the hell do I have to lose?

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Yeah.

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Great.

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So I'm all about body movement.

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Mm-hmm.

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Because we gotta move the energy that all that energy needs to go somewhere.

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What we're doing with drugs and alcohol is we're suppressing it and

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now it's still stuck in our energy body, so we gotta move the body.

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So even just to go out dancing is great if you have to do it at home by yourself.

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If you're not comfortable doing it without alcohol, because I know that can be

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really awkward at first, but definitely body movement is really important.

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Connecting to the breath, even a little 10 minute breath yes, can totally ground you.

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I have been doing breath work for the last couple of years.

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It's been transformative.

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So grounding ourselves with breath.

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There's a little trick called EFT Tapping.

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These are all really like energetic practices, so I've been doing tapping for

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years and it's really helped me as well.

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Again, we gotta shift that energy and create the space.

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So dancing, breath tapping, even journaling, having a deep conversation

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with a friend, a vulnerable conversation with a friend, unpacking the

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service that you just went through.

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Right.

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So many times we walk out the door after service and we leave it at the

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door and that's great, but we're not maybe addressing some things that

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had surfaced for us during that time.

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And so again, we're suppressing it with drugs and alcohol, whereas if we talk

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it through or journal about it or have some kind of outlet that is safe in a

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safe container, that can really help too.

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'cause then we're not carrying it with a, in a mental state.

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Um,

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Adam M Lamb: God, there's so much in there.

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So first thing I want to acknowledge is the whole somatic.

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Yeah, principle of energy that's locked up in your body because there are certain

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people who believe that, you know that energy stuck in the body and not exercised

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out metastasizes as a physical entity in the body, and that's where chronic

Kimberly Flear: 00:17:20

illness comes right, wrong or whatever.

Kimberly Flear: 00:17:24

But that movement also, if we're really about a recovery friendly

Kimberly Flear: 00:17:29

workplace, and let's not even call it recovery friendly, let's talk about.

Kimberly Flear: 00:17:33

An environment where we respect and honor everybody's mental health.

Kimberly Flear: 00:17:38

What would it look like to get the team together at the end of the shift

Kimberly Flear: 00:17:41

for five minutes and say, okay, let's debrief everybody first, take a deep

Kimberly Flear: 00:17:45

breath in and out, and then let's talk about some of the things that happened.

Kimberly Flear: 00:17:48

Not to like berate anybody.

Kimberly Flear: 00:17:51

It's a great opportunity to celebrate successes and also give everybody

Kimberly Flear: 00:17:55

an opportunity to like just dump.

Kimberly Flear: 00:17:58

And I like walking.

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:01

Just walk with someone else and then have the conversation.

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:04

Yeah, which is really cool.

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:05

I mean, I think sometimes a very good friend of mine who I took talked to

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:09

last night, and we would go always out to the smoke pit and we'd sit

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:13

there silently next to one another.

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:15

There's 30 people out in the smoke pit, and here and I are over in the corner

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:18

and we're not talking because we're kind of self isolating in that moment.

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:23

But by the same token, you don't necessarily need to smoke to go out and.

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:26

Create a space where you can just breathe and just be by yourself for 10

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:30

minutes so that you can get recentered before going into the environment.

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:33

So I love all those ideas.

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:35

I think they're fantastic.

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:38

You mentioned that it seems like a problem too big to solve, and the

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:43

question for you is it must be so inspiring that it pulls you forward

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:48

as opposed to pushes you forward.

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:50

Can you speak to that a little bit?

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:53

Yeah.

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:55

That larger than life project.

Kimberly Flear: 00:18:56

I feel like I'm a tiny voice, but I'm a loud creature or something

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:00

is coming to me like because I am just one, you know, individual.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:03

But the pull is because I have conversations like this.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:09

There's no pushing, there's no, I did that for too long.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:13

This is about passion and impact.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:18

And so I get pulled and drawn towards intuitively the people

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:23

that resonate with my work.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:24

Adam M Lamb: Mm-hmm.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:25

Who wanna have these conversations, who are

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:28

open and willing to change.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:32

So I don't know if that's answering your question, but I'm pulled

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:34

towards the leaders in this space.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:38

And that's what allows me to keep going.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:42

I have yet to meet one person.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:43

Maybe there's a couple of naysayers on LinkedIn.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:46

Adam M Lamb: I saw one comment yesterday.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:47

Okay,

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:47

yeah.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:48

We won't go there.

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:49

I think everybody that I speak to is all for this and wants to support this, and

Kimberly Flear: 00:19:58

no one has said, stop, don't do this.

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:02

Or, you know.

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:03

There are people that will ignore me.

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:05

There are people that maybe will say things, you know, when I'm not in the

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:08

room, but for the most part, there is no denying that this culture needs a shift.

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:16

Yeah.

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:18

So

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:20

Adam M Lamb: what do you do for your own self-care?

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:22

So I live quietly in the forest in a cabin alone with no children.

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:26

So I've created a very spacious life that allows me to have a

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:31

really beautiful self-care practice.

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:34

Um, I, when I got sober, I eliminated a lot of distractions

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:40

as well because I knew, you know, like I don't have a big screen tv.

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:44

I don't scroll social.

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:45

I use LinkedIn as a tool, not as a way to numb or be mindless.

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:52

So self care for me looks like.

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:55

So I cold plunge every day.

Kimberly Flear: 00:20:57

I swim in the Pacific Ocean every day.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:01

Now, obviously it gets warmer in the summer, so I have to switch

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:04

to cold showers, but that practice alone has been one of the most

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:09

transformative I've ever experienced.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:14

You know, this winter it was like minus eight.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:17

Two feet of snow, which is pretty rare for the Sunshine Coast.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:20

Mm-hmm.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:21

Sure.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:21

And going down in my robe and slipping into that freezing cold water,

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:25

like that strength, that's clarity.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:28

There's a lot.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:29

It also

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:29

Adam M Lamb: produces some pretty incredible physiological changes in

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:32

the body when you're submerge yourself in cold water and it drives all the

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:36

blood to the center of the organs.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:38

Yeah.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:38

Adam M Lamb: It's, you wanna

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:39

talk about dopamine?

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:40

I mean, boom.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:41

Right?

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:41

There isn't many other things organically that feel so good when you come outta the

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:45

water, every cell in your body is alive.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:47

I think that's one.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:48

Apart from last call coaching.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:49

I think that my cold plunging will be the legacy I leave behind.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:52

I've gotten quite a few of my friends into it.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:55

Adam M Lamb: It feels so good right after the pain stops.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:58

Yeah.

Kimberly Flear: 00:21:58

The first like 15 to 45 seconds is, what am I doing?

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:02

But then once I'm in, I spend, I'm up to about 10 minutes,

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:05

so I've really trained myself.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:07

Adam M Lamb: You're a polar bear.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:08

Yeah.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:09

And then, you know, we spoke earlier about energy practices and this has been vital

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:13

in my healing journey and my self-care.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:17

I took the route of energy practices such as breath work.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:22

I do Qigong, I do yoga.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:24

Very connected to nature.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:26

I spend a lot of time out in nature by the sea or in the forest.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:32

I'm constantly looking to improve myself.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:34

I'm always learning whether it's different leadership styles or coaching practices,

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:39

or I'm generally constantly absor.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:42

Not constantly, but when I create the space absorbing

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:44

information to to better myself.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:48

I'm on a mission, you know, for my own personal journey

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:51

to feel and to live from my.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:53

Most optimal timeline.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:56

I know, you know, from the highest version of myself.

Kimberly Flear: 00:22:58

And then by extension, because I live that way, I'm able to support

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:02

others in doing the same because integrity is one of my core values.

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:06

So if I don't walk the walk and talk the talk, then I'm out of alignment.

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:09

Right?

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:10

Adam M Lamb: I was facilitating men's weekend two years ago, or three

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:13

years ago, and one of the guys was a member of kind of an alpha group.

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:19

And he looked at me over the fireplace and he is like, dude, how the fuck can you be

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:23

doing this man, look at you, you're fat.

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:27

As a way of kind of like being out of integrity with the work.

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:30

And that kind of pushed me back a little bit so far as to understand that

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:34

was his viewpoint, his perspective, but it didn't naturally land with me.

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:38

But you know, I've had some challenges physically.

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:40

I've had a laminectomy Fusion in 2007.

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:44

The last five years it was in, I was in constant pain and didn't understand

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:48

that it had broken in several different places and so had to have it all

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:51

pulled out and pulled back in again.

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:53

So for me, the recovery has been a long road, but I continue to focus

Kimberly Flear: 00:23:58

on what I like to call the 1% weigh, which is my only objective is to

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:01

be 1% better than I was yesterday.

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:03

That might mean, you know, one pound more walking, 10 minutes more like whatever

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:08

that looks like to be just 1% better than yesterday as an idea of round.

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:15

Kaizen, you know, small steps over time, yield big results.

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:19

She said, you know, you gotta design the alliance with your coaching clients.

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:23

I said, design the alliance.

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:25

I'm like, what the, and she has a, she has a process that

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:28

she walks everybody through.

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:29

So this is the alliance that we're gonna.

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:32

Agree to, and these are the non-negotiables day looks like

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:36

how I spend each of those blocks.

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:38

What does my perfect day look like and how close to can I get to actually

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:41

achieving that every day from where I live, the things that are in it,

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:45

you know, do I go running, do I hike?

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:48

Whatever that is.

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:49

So how often am I fit consciously choosing, you know, what I want my

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:56

day, or am I just getting pulled along?

Kimberly Flear: 00:24:58

And for years and years and years, especially in the hospitality industry.

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:01

I was just pulled along, man, and, and not right, not wrong,

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:05

but it's just like having the acknowledgement, like understanding

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:08

that is a risk in the industry.

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:11

And let's face it, in the eighties there was this huge confluence of

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:15

some perfect elements that came together to make working in the

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:18

industry really cool, you know?

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:21

And lots of people were coming into the industry.

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:23

As a matter of fact, I remember, you know, getting 500 resumes for

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:26

a single position in the kitchen, and that lasted until it didn't.

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:30

And so it wasn't really incumbent upon us as leaders or the industry to really look

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:34

hard at how we were treating folks because there was always someone else and back.

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:40

Even though looking back, I think all of us can probably recognize

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:43

how we were treated that way and like we didn't fucking like it then.

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:47

But

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:49

when 6 million people leave the industry, what a huge opportunity.

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:54

What a great reset to rethink everything.

Kimberly Flear: 00:25:57

What is your biggest hope for last call coaching?

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:00

For this year, for 2025,

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:03

just to keep putting the building blocks together.

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:06

I'm going to to continue to be consistent for 2025

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:13

more awareness, more education.

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:16

There's some loose partnerships in the works right now with some

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:19

people in Oregon, constantly getting my name out there.

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:25

My training's out there.

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:26

This is a long-term game, so it's hard to condense it into one year.

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:30

I think that 2025 is really just about laying the foundation

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:36

and working with people who are open and willing to begin this shift.

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:39

I believe that being a catalyst for this kind of change is huge.

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:45

Once we get that momentum going, like a snowball, the momentum's

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:48

just gonna continue to build and build and then over time.

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:53

We can start to see greater change.

Kimberly Flear: 00:26:59

Adam M Lamb: And what is your biggest fear for the industry?

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:08

Well, that people are resistant to change.

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:12

I, my biggest fear is that we lose another 6 million people.

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:21

I don't think I bring a lot of fear to the table, to be honest.

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:25

That's, I kind of like when I tap into fear, I think that the only fear

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:33

that lives in me is with my own ability.

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:36

Like it's, it's the personal development.

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:39

That's the fear.

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:39

It's not this industry's gonna shift or else there will be no industry.

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:44

Right.

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:44

Exactly.

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:44

Right.

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:45

It's not whether it's 15 years, 20 years, whatever it is.

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:50

There's not a lot of fear in that.

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:52

Um.

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:54

It's continuing to show up for myself, putting myself out there, doing

Kimberly Flear: 00:27:57

those uncomfortable things, having the uncomfortable conversations that

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:00

nobody wants to have, being vulnerable.

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:02

This level of work that I'm doing has brought forth like far out.

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:06

I thought I did all the healing when I got sober, but like entrepreneurship and

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:10

putting my neck out and talking about addiction in hospitality has surfaced

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:14

all the little critters again that I have to look at with my own self-development.

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:19

But that's beautiful and amazing.

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:20

That doesn't mean that I'm afraid and I'm gonna.

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:22

Curl up under a, a rock out here in the forest and not do it.

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:26

Sure.

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:26

To me, that's the pull forward, right.

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:29

To continue to do this work is leaning into that fear.

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:34

Adam M Lamb: I, uh, just want to acknowledge you for your

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:37

tenacity, your authenticity, your vision for an industry where

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:44

recovery isn't a bad word.

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:46

Yeah, like I picture, like I have this vision of walking into

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:50

restaurants and there's a little plaque on the wall that just acknowledges,

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:54

Hey, this restaurant is recovery friendly, or whatever term or labeled.

Kimberly Flear: 00:28:59

It doesn't have to say that, but do you know like just some kind of recognition.

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:04

You know, we can put TripAdvisor reviews all over and, but how

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:07

are we treating our staff?

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:08

Let's start acknowledging that.

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:09

And of course, I picture my little pineapple on that.

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:12

I gotta brand it.

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:13

I gotta brand that plaque.

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:14

Um, well, you gotta,

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:15

Adam M Lamb: you gotta, you gotta be careful about the pineapple price.

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:17

I know I heard this.

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:18

I know.

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:19

But it is the symbol of hospitality and I'm gonna go with it.

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:22

Adam M Lamb: You go down to some of the oldest towns in New England and

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:26

the houses have very often either a picture of a codfish above the door or

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:30

a pineapple because it was represented.

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:34

Success

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:36

and let's be honest, hospitality staff are no

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:38

surprise to be swingers as well.

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:39

So I know there's more to the pineapple, but I think it's really great and I

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:44

just have this big vision of, of people really stepping up and putting their

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:50

staff just as important as their guests.

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:52

Adam M Lamb: Well, please consider myself and Chef Life Radio and Chef

Kimberly Flear: 00:29:56

Life Coaching as part of your alliance because we want to be where you're at.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:02

And we say to you, come on board, because one more makes it all the more merrier.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:08

I'm grateful to be here.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:09

Adam M Lamb: And so currently you're doing one-on-one coaching, correct?

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:12

Yep.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:13

So I do one-on-one coaching.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:14

Adam M Lamb: And are you planning on moving into group

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:17

coaching with organizations?

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:18

I.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:19

Yes.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:20

Yeah.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:20

So the bigger picture, like I love doing the one-on-one support, and that was

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:24

originally where my whole business plan and structure was created to support the

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:28

chefs and the servers and the bartenders.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:30

Right.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:30

But after a lot of reflection and having a lot of conversations with people,

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:33

I. Employers, I believe, are really where the shift needs to take place.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:38

And so implementing programs to address turnover staff, like staff

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:44

retention, guest satisfaction, all of those components that are affected

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:48

by not taking care of our staff.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:50

Yeah, so working one-on-one with employers to implement

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:53

these trainings and workshops.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:56

There's multiple ways.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:57

That we could do that.

Kimberly Flear: 00:30:58

So I think it starts from the top.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:00

And more impact can be made when you're in front of a large organization.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:04

Adam M Lamb: Sure.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:05

I mean, if nothing else to have, uh, the buy-in from upper management.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:11

Yeah.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:11

He understands what you're trying to do.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:13

And so if someone wanted to get in touch with you to learn more about you and

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:17

what you're doing, how do they do that?

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:19

Yeah, great.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:20

So I'm really active on LinkedIn as we mentioned before, so you can

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:23

definitely find me on LinkedIn.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:24

My website is last call coaching.com, so the best way

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:28

would be LinkedIn or my website,

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:30

Adam M Lamb: and we'll make sure that we have all those links in the show notes.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:33

I. Kimberly Flear thanks so much for being with us.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:36

Thanks, Adam.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:36

I love spending time with you.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:38

It's

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:38

Adam M Lamb: awesome.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:38

Yeah, I love it.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:39

Yeah, I look forward to it.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:46

Adam M Lamb: That's it for this episode of Chef Life Radio.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:48

If you're ready to take your career to the next level, then.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:51

Sign up for a free discovery call and find out what's possible for

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:54

you@jefflifecoaching.com slash discovery.

Kimberly Flear: 00:31:58

And the link is in the show notes here at Jeff Life Radio.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:01

We believe that working in a kitchen should be demanding.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:04

It just shouldn't have to be demeaning.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:06

It should be hard.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:07

It just doesn't have to be harsh.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:09

We believe that it's possible to have more solidarity and less.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:12

Suck it up.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:13

Sunshine more, compassion less cutthroat island.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:17

We believe in more partnership and less put up or shut up.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:21

More family and less fuck you.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:24

Stand tall and frosty brothers and sisters, but consider for a moment.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:28

For all the blood, sweat, and effort you put into what you do.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:31

At the end of the day, it's just some stuff on a plate.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:34

None of it really matters.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:35

Doesn't define you as a person or make you any more special or less than anyone else.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:40

It's just a dance that we're engaged in, so we might as well

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:42

laugh and enjoy every bit of it.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:44

Or didn't you know that the purpose of your life should be to enjoy it?

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:50

You love it.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:51

I'm humble.

Kimberly Flear: 00:32:56

Reach out to the show at facebook.com/chef Life Radio, Twitter at Chef Life

Kimberly Flear: 00:33:02

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Kimberly Flear: 00:33:05

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Kimberly Flear: 00:33:08

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Kimberly Flear: 00:33:11

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Kimberly Flear: 00:33:14

It really does help spread the news.

Kimberly Flear: 00:33:16

Thanks for listening until the next episode.

Kimberly Flear: 00:33:18

Be well and do good.

Kimberly Flear: 00:33:20

This episode was produced by me, Adam Lamb.

Kimberly Flear: 00:33:23

It was recorded in a basement Bunker Studio in Bardo, North Carolina.

Kimberly Flear: 00:33:27

Co-produced by Thomas Stinson of pod like.com.

Kimberly Flear: 00:33:31

Chef Life Radio is a production of Realignment Media.