240 | Holiday Hell 2026

Speaker: 00:00:00

This is Chef Life Radio. I'm Adam Lamb.

2

: 00:00:04

This is a show for chefs and culinary leaders who care deeply about the craft,

3

: 00:00:08

but are no longer willing to sacrifice themselves to survive the business.

4

: 00:00:13

We don't do motivation here. We don't do hustle theater.

5

: 00:00:16

We talk about choice, agency, and the quiet moments where leadership actually happens.

6

: 00:00:24

If that resonates, stay with me right after this message.

7

: 00:00:28

Stop chasing stars and start building a career that actually works.

8

: 00:00:32

Join the national champions at AB Tech in Asheville for hands-on training that

9

: 00:00:35

respects the hustle without losing the soul.

10

: 00:00:38

Real tools for real chefs at abtech.edu forward slash culinary.

11

: 00:00:44

Welcome to Holiday Hell Week, Chef.

12

: 00:00:47

For those of you about to be rocked, we salute you.

13

: 00:00:51

If you're deep in the thick of it, congratulations. At least you know you're

14

: 00:00:55

alive. even if it feels like you're dying or like something's got to give.

15

: 00:01:01

It will, but not right now. This isn't the moment for grand experiments or brazen declarations.

16

: 00:01:09

That'll only add to the load. You've got this. Deep breath, chef.

17

: 00:01:14

Then take one step and another.

18

: 00:01:17

Just focus on being 1% better than yesterday.

19

: 00:01:21

That'll be enough for today.

20

: 00:01:24

Know how no matter how busy it gets it'll slow down this will pass.

21

: 00:01:32

Thank you for your work. Thank you for your resilience. Thank you for taking

22

: 00:01:36

care of your customers and your team.

23

: 00:01:39

Thank you for taking one for the brigade, standing tall and frosty,

24

: 00:01:42

and doing what needs to be done.

25

: 00:01:45

I'm recording this episode during the 10 days between Christmas and New Year's

26

: 00:01:48

2025-26, but every hospitality year has at least four, maybe six, holiday hell weeks.

27

: 00:01:55

Depending on your operation, it might be Memorial Day, Labor Day,

28

: 00:02:00

Thanksgiving, Valentine's and Mother's Day.

29

: 00:02:03

They don't just hit for a night, they ripple for days.

30

: 00:02:07

Shoulder season, in season, off season is often tougher when staffing guides

31

: 00:02:13

are still tied to cover counts.

32

: 00:02:15

If your business lives on tourism, you already know.

33

: 00:02:19

And if you're listening during one of those rare moments when you can catch

34

: 00:02:21

your breath, good. Save this episode.

35

: 00:02:26

You're going to need it soon enough.

36

: 00:02:28

Nuff said, I want to start with something that landed in my inbox recently.

37

: 00:02:32

Not a testimonial, not a win, just a moment.

38

: 00:02:36

A chef I once worked with wrote, chef, I want to take a minute to thank you.

39

: 00:02:42

He told me he landed a new role right in his wheelhouse at nearly double his current salary.

40

: 00:02:47

He described prepping for the final stage when and a voice popped into his head. Mine.

41

: 00:02:53

How are you, chef? He answered the way we all would. I'm good,

42

: 00:02:57

chef. Just finishing a few garnishes.

43

: 00:03:00

That's nice, I said. But I wasn't asking about the prep list. How are you, really?

44

: 00:03:06

With 30 minutes to go before plating, he paused.

45

: 00:03:11

And in that stillness, he realized that he had spent the last 11 years in total immersion.

46

: 00:03:18

Work, reading, studying, talking about work, proving himself in the grind.

47

: 00:03:24

No relationship outside the kitchen.

48

: 00:03:27

No time to think or do anything else, lest he get left behind in the dust.

49

: 00:03:32

He wrote, you're the first person in my professional life who kept asking how

50

: 00:03:36

I was, not just how the work was.

51

: 00:03:39

Apparently, that moment changed something. And I guess it still does.

52

: 00:03:44

That's what this episode is

53

: 00:03:46

all about. He finished his email by saying something else. He felt guilty.

54

: 00:03:51

I feel crooked taking a job at that salary.

55

: 00:03:55

Shouldn't the money matter less than the work?

56

: 00:04:00

Isn't this supposed to be about passion?

57

: 00:04:03

That's also what this episode is about. So let me ask you, Chef. How are you? Really?

58

: 00:04:09

Do you sometimes feel like a shark? If you stop grinding, proving, caring.

59

: 00:04:13

If you stop moving, do you die? This episode isn't about work.

60

: 00:04:18

This episode isn't about working less during the holidays. That's a fantasy.

61

: 00:04:22

It's not about balance myths or self-care slogans.

62

: 00:04:26

This is about leadership. Yours.

63

: 00:04:29

Because the holiday season doesn't create problems. It reveals them.

64

: 00:04:35

Pressure doesn't invent dysfunction. It exposes weak systems,

65

: 00:04:39

unspoken agreements, and exhausted leaders.

66

: 00:04:42

How you lead when the heat is highest tells the truth about your culture.

67

: 00:04:47

If you stay with me, we're going to talk about why survival mode is a lie leaders

68

: 00:04:51

tell themselves, what constant motion helps us avoid, and what it actually takes

69

: 00:04:57

to come through season intact.

70

: 00:05:00

Not heroic, not numb, intact. Quick pause.

71

: 00:05:06

If this conversation is hitting and you want a place to work this out in real

72

: 00:05:09

time with other chefs, that's what the Leadership Lab is for.

73

: 00:05:12

It's not a course. It's not coaching theater.

74

: 00:05:15

It's a room where we slow things down enough to tell the truth. Links in the show notes.

75

: 00:05:20

All right, let's get back into it.

76

: 00:05:24

In kitchens, exhaustion gets rewarded. We learn early that being tired means you care.

77

: 00:05:29

We joke about it. We bond over it. We wear it like a badge of honor.

78

: 00:05:35

Chefs are like sharks, right? If we stop moving, we die.

79

: 00:05:39

So we normalize depletion. We call burnout commitment. We shame anyone else who won't go all in.

80

: 00:05:47

We just need to get through this shift, this hour, this day.

81

: 00:05:53

Four more hours, y'all. But here's the truth nobody wants to say out loud.

82

: 00:05:58

Survival mode might get you through a shift. It will destroy a culture.

83

: 00:06:05

Survival mode narrows vision. It makes leadership reactive.

84

: 00:06:10

And eventually, everything becomes about control instead of care.

85

: 00:06:15

Somewhere along the line, we stopped asking the most important question.

86

: 00:06:20

Is this sustainable? Or is it just familiar?

87

: 00:06:23

Is this all there is? You already know this day.

88

: 00:06:28

The dishwasher called out. The vendor shorted the order.

89

: 00:06:32

Catering added to pop-up banquets after you placed your orders.

90

: 00:06:36

Now you're covering saute just to keep the wheels on the bus.

91

: 00:06:38

And then someone calls out, time check.

92

: 00:06:41

10 minutes. And then this.

93

: 00:06:52

Thank you.

94

: 00:06:55

You feel it in your chest before it hits your thoughts. So you do what you've always done.

95

: 00:07:00

You step in. You cover. You push.

96

: 00:07:04

You move faster. I'll deal with this later.

97

: 00:07:08

But later never comes. Motion becomes the strategy. Not success. Just survival.

98

: 00:07:16

No one checks in. No one names the strain. Everyone just keeps moving.

99

: 00:07:22

What looks like leadership on the surface is actually avoidance underneath.

100

: 00:07:28

You're not leading the team. You're outrunning the truth.

101

: 00:07:34

Survival mode tells you to stop. Survival mode tells you stopping will break everything.

102

: 00:07:41

But what it's really protecting you from is having to feel how fragile the system actually is.

103

: 00:07:47

No amount of bodies will ever fix a broken system. This is where the leadership loop begins.

104

: 00:07:53

Most chefs already know when something's off. They feel it before they can even explain it.

105

: 00:07:59

But dealing with those problems? Not today, man. Too busy. But if you can see

106

: 00:08:05

it, it's time to deal with it.

107

: 00:08:07

Step one, name it. Call the cracks where they are. Step number two, contextualize it.

108

: 00:08:16

Pressure exposes weak agreements. Explain why change matters.

109

: 00:08:21

Step number three, model the behavior you're asking for.

110

: 00:08:26

Step number four, hold the line.

111

: 00:08:32

And this is where people pleasers struggle. Holding the line feels risky.

112

: 00:08:38

Pleasing feels kind.

113

: 00:08:41

They are not the same. Leadership is not fixing.

114

: 00:08:46

Leadership is not directing leadership is witnessing we avoid hard conversations

115

: 00:08:52

not because we don't care because we think we need answers so we stay busy we keep moving,

116

: 00:09:01

that's our solution but what your team needs isn't solutions they need a clean container,

117

: 00:09:09

10 minutes per person per week.

118

: 00:09:13

Set the time, set the container, bear witness.

119

: 00:09:18

If you don't build containers for honesty, pressure will build them for you

120

: 00:09:23

and you won't like the outcome.

121

: 00:09:25

Depleted leaders don't just suffer quietly. They become unpredictable.

122

: 00:09:31

Unpredictability erodes trust faster than anger ever will.

123

: 00:09:35

Your team doesn't need your sacrifice. They need your steadiness.

124

: 00:09:40

Steady state. Self-care isn't indulgent, it's operational.

125

: 00:09:47

When your nervous system is fried, everything downstream distorts.

126

: 00:09:53

Can't lead others if you won't lead yourself. Let's talk about home.

127

: 00:09:57

Have you told your family what this season actually requires?

128

: 00:10:00

Or do you just disappear and hope they understand?

129

: 00:10:04

Unspoken expectations are silent betrayals.

130

: 00:10:09

Work-life harmony isn't equal time. It's named expectations.

131

: 00:10:14

Sure, everybody knows the deal. Everybody knows the cost. But not everyone consented to this.

132

: 00:10:22

But it's never too late to ask. That's leadership too.

133

: 00:10:28

Stillness terrifies people who equate motion with worth.

134

: 00:10:33

Rest isn't quitting. It's maintenance. When rested, you step off the line, nothing breaks.

135

: 00:10:41

What does break is the story that says, if I'm not exhausted, I'm not enough.

136

: 00:10:47

Clarity is what leadership actually runs on. This season will pass as they always do.

137

: 00:10:53

How you show up will linger.

138

: 00:10:56

Don't try to be better. be clearer. Clear with yourself. Clear with your family.

139

: 00:11:03

Clear with your team. If we never stop moving, we don't die.

140

: 00:11:08

We just abandon the life this work was meant to support. Hope is not a strategy.

141

: 00:11:13

Endurance is not leadership.

142

: 00:11:17

Professionalism does not mean disappearing from your own life.

143

: 00:11:20

The chefs who last aren't the ones who move the fastest. They're the ones who know when to stop.

144

: 00:11:27

And why. This should be hard, but it shouldn't be harsh.

145

: 00:11:31

If the kitchen is taking more than it's giving, it's time for some preventive maintenance.

146

: 00:11:34

Big thanks to Carolina Health and Wellness for sponsoring our mission to make

147

: 00:11:38

kitchens more human. Their link is in the show notes. This didn't start as obligation.

148

: 00:11:43

It started as love. If something shifted today for you, don't rush to fix it.

149

: 00:11:49

Just sit with it. I'll see you next time.

150

: 00:11:53

Stay tall, stay frosty, and lead from your heart. Until next week, this is Chef Adam Lamb.